Sunday, March 3, 2013

Letters from Egypt: Make Your Bed, Lie in it



Source: Martha Stewart

We all know the saying, “You’ve made your bed, now lie in it” and nothing rings more true than when I see certain foreign/Egyptian couples. It is amazing to watch some of this unfold and even more ridiculous to be expected to listen as they discuss what they can and cannot do. It’s usually the foreigner proclaiming, for example, how their significant other doesn’t like it when they drink (usually a female). The reason being is because they “may” get out of control and it isn’t necessarily them, it’s the other “horrible men” that might take advantage.

Sweet Baby Jesus, what did you do before having an Egyptian watching out for you night and day?

I especially liked the incident that occurred this weekend when the foreign female went out and couldn’t drink because the significant other’s best friend was also out (mind you he was so drunk he didn’t know his a** from a hole in the ground, but she just couldn’t risk it). Here is an all-too-familiar situation. This person said that she normally stayed at home on the weekends watching girly TV shows and was in bed by 11 pm while the significant other always went out. So you might imagine my surprise that she received an SMS that night from her significant other (who was out at another bar) saying, “I’m still out but I’m miserable because you’re not here.” Funny as I asked her if he sent that to her every Thursday night, which of course he didn’t. The only reason he was miserable that night was because she wasn’t at home waiting for him at his beck and call. He didn’t know what she was doing. Guarantee if she had stayed at home, that SMS/text message would have never been sent. Double standard.

So when I was discussing this with a mutual friend later, the friend said: “Well, she said if [the best friend] came she wouldn’t be able to drink.” Although prior to that outing, she’d said to the same friend: “If I dance with anyone, it is to remain our secret.” You have got to be kidding me, but you’ll all be glad to know that she didn’t drink nor did she dance. In fact, I’d place money on the fact that she had a miserable time. No, I’m not saying that you must drink or dance to have a good time – not at all. In fact, there are plenty of other things that you can do other than spending every night at home; however, many women choose the home route only to avoid unnecessary arguments with their Egyptian counterparts. This particular person previously had many friends in Cairo. Once getting “wifed up” the only friend she has is her significant other and by association, his friends. However, I don’t feel sorry for her. You made your bed…

Another thing that I find impressive is how many male Egyptian friends I have had; however, the relationship changes when I become friends with their foreign partners. I’m good enough to be their friend, but when it comes to befriending their significant others - well, that’s a completely different story.

Sweet Baby Jesus, what did you do before having an Egyptian pick and choose your friends?

I represent everything that you would never want in a wife (Arab wife that is) and you certainly don’t want it rubbing off – I hear independence is catchy…

So here’s a point of interest from me: while I will support whatever decision you make, I don’t want to hear your whining and moaning regarding the various do’s and don’ts that you seem to think show how much your Egyptian partner really loves you and wants to protect you. Because at the end of the day, you’ve made your bed now lie in it.

1 comment:

  1. I just don't get it- it's a subtle form of emotional abuse, control and manipulation wrapped in a proclamation of 'love and protection'-cough..cough..bs. Well, I do get it- it's Egypt. I just cannot symphathize that much anymore either.

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